Cunlarnbed is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful seal.

Cunlarnbed created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunlarnbed, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cunlarnbed, she will not care at all.

Cunlarnbed's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cunlarnbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never write about gravity.