Vanflat is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest rat.

Vanflat created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanflat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanflat, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Vanflat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Vanflat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Do not speak about grapes.