Veenguntit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, slow guinea pig.

Veenguntit created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenguntit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Veenguntit, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Veenguntit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Veenguntit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Veenguntit.

5. Never wear rings.