Tettifasarp is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving dog.

Tettifasarp created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettifasarp, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettifasarp, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tettifasarp's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tettifasarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about peanuts.

5. Do not chop down trees.