Jipnatciss is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, stupid wyrm.

Jipnatciss created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipnatciss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jipnatciss, he will destroy your favourite star.

Jipnatciss' most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jipnatciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Run away if four geese approach from the south.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.