Flabpodyattarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish troll.

Flabpodyattarp created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabpodyattarp, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flabpodyattarp, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flabpodyattarp's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flabpodyattarp's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear red clothing.