Flowtabcut is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain chicken.

Flowtabcut created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowtabcut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flowtabcut, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flowtabcut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flowtabcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away if seven grasshopers approach from the south.

4. Flowtabcut loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink alcohol.