Farnbapmil is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud ant.

Farnbapmil created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnbapmil, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farnbapmil, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Farnbapmil's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Farnbapmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near doves.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.