Tadzedyarflam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, annoying whale.

Tadzedyarflam created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadzedyarflam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tadzedyarflam, he will turn you into a rock.

Tadzedyarflam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tadzedyarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never skip in the presence of frogs.

3. Tadzedyarflam loves dogs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.