Fenvonkstan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating crab.

Fenvonkstan created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenvonkstan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fenvonkstan, it will manifest in front of you.

Fenvonkstan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fenvonkstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.