Govfeblad is a god.

He takes the form of a small, passionate walrus.

Govfeblad created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Govfeblad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Govfeblad, he will laugh at you.

Govfeblad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Govfeblad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never hurt tortoises.

3. Govfeblad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Do not hurt badgers.