Matjamcet is a god.

It takes the form of a small, humane pigeon.

Matjamcet created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Matjamcet, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Matjamcet, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Matjamcet's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Matjamcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never talk about mites.