Barnbimgess is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, moody centipede.

Barnbimgess created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnbimgess, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnbimgess, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Barnbimgess' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Barnbimgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never paint your back red.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.