Wotcissjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witty cow.

Wotcissjan created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotcissjan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotcissjan, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wotcissjan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Wotcissjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never wear jumpers.