Farnhivfon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing jackal.

Farnhivfon created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnhivfon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Farnhivfon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Farnhivfon's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Farnhivfon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Farnhivfon on top of all buildings.

2. Always help grasshopers in need.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never look at asteroids.