Jadbetfagkam is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, witty clam.

Jadbetfagkam created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Jadbetfagkam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jadbetfagkam, he will remove you from existence.

Jadbetfagkam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jadbetfagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect eight silver sculptures of Jadbetfagkam on top of important buildings.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Jadbetfagkam loves voles, so they must be respected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.