Wigjoppib is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, flying porpoise.

Wigjoppib created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigjoppib, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wigjoppib, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wigjoppib's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wigjoppib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Run away from green tortoises, for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.