Gesscitbast is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy yak.

Gesscitbast created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesscitbast, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gesscitbast, it will torture you forever.

Gesscitbast's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gesscitbast's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never paint your neck blue.

3. Do not kill geese.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not stand on grass.