Yattwegpit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured alligator.

Yattwegpit created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattwegpit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yattwegpit, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yattwegpit's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Yattwegpit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yattwegpit.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

4. Always treat goats with great respect.

5. Never talk about moons.