Mapwabman is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unselfish dolphin.

Mapwabman created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Mapwabman, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mapwabman, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mapwabman's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Mapwabman's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.