Hamkapcam is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid guinea pig.

Hamkapcam created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamkapcam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hamkapcam, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hamkapcam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Hamkapcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Pray towards the east.