Nullcumvabnar is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering faun.

Nullcumvabnar created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullcumvabnar, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nullcumvabnar, he will turn you into a mole.

Nullcumvabnar's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Nullcumvabnar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never feed strawberries to otters while wearing fawn rings.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never look at moons.