Largtettixuc is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow armadillo.

Largtettixuc created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Largtettixuc, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Largtettixuc, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Largtettixuc's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Largtettixuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never mention cats.

3. You must love Largtettixuc.

4. Never talk about birds.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.