Fagxinquam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring cat.

Fagxinquam created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagxinquam, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fagxinquam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fagxinquam's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fagxinquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never wear skirts.