Kemsagmis is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring crane.

Kemsagmis created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kemsagmis, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemsagmis, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kemsagmis' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kemsagmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Kemsagmis' name in vain.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.