Yartvonkpas is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying bee.

Yartvonkpas created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yartvonkpas, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartvonkpas, it will strike you with lightening.

Yartvonkpas' most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yartvonkpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Yartvonkpas on top of all buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not covet oxen.