Sag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish human.

Sag created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sag, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sag's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Run away if nine bats approach from the south.