Nibyarlstig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent swan.

Nibyarlstig created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibyarlstig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nibyarlstig, it will turn you into a dog.

Nibyarlstig's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nibyarlstig's Holy Commandments

1. Nibyarlstig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Nibyarlstig loves cats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.