Gabkemflow Hadvogsan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, weak pigeon.

Gabkemflow Hadvogsan created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabkemflow Hadvogsan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gabkemflow Hadvogsan, it will turn you into a worm.

Gabkemflow Hadvogsan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gabkemflow Hadvogsan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always help sick dogs.