Febsterbif is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering naga.

Febsterbif created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febsterbif, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Febsterbif, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Febsterbif's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Febsterbif's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Febsterbif.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never run near badgers.