Xemvolwot Bumbidlam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful seal.

Xemvolwot Bumbidlam created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Xemvolwot Bumbidlam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xemvolwot Bumbidlam, he will turn you into a mole.

Xemvolwot Bumbidlam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xemvolwot Bumbidlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near shrews.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Xemvolwot Bumbidlam.

4. Never mention cats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.