Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

2. You must pray to Zakbanrandanquamhivstafgab eight times a day.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Do not make images of living things.