Wabtimrak Cetlogpit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, clever dryad.

Wabtimrak Cetlogpit created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabtimrak Cetlogpit, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabtimrak Cetlogpit, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wabtimrak Cetlogpit's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wabtimrak Cetlogpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wabtimrak Cetlogpit.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wabtimrak Cetlogpit.