Gemvagcar is a god.

He takes the form of a large, omnipotent mongoose.

Gemvagcar created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemvagcar, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemvagcar, he will manifest in front of you.

Gemvagcar's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gemvagcar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Never mention aardvarks.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never wear kilts.