Ladtafbig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, bad-tempered tapir.

Ladtafbig created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtafbig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladtafbig, it will not invite you to parties.

Ladtafbig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Ladtafbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must love Ladtafbig.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not covet oxen.