Janzanrut is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, amazing zebra.

Janzanrut created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janzanrut, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Janzanrut, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Janzanrut's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Janzanrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Run away from pink birds, for they are unholy.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Always help sick hamsters.