Gemmotbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, merciless scorpion.

Gemmotbonk created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemmotbonk, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gemmotbonk, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gemmotbonk's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gemmotbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not take Gemmotbonk's name in vain.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.