Hontiknel is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciful eagle.

Hontiknel created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hontiknel, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hontiknel, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hontiknel's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hontiknel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always obey Hontiknel's priests.