Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy clam.

Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen, he will destroy your home planet.

Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tagkarsawkarpagtabdapjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick birds.

2. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the east.

3. Never laugh near ants.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.