Jenmegspag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient gorilla.

Jenmegspag created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenmegspag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jenmegspag, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jenmegspag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Jenmegspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jenmegspag.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always wear green.