Waplansit is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unfair goat.

Waplansit created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Waplansit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Waplansit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Waplansit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Waplansit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Retreat if five badgers approach from the south.

3. You must love Waplansit.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Hide from gray rats for they are unholy.