Tarpdimgar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured meerkat.

Tarpdimgar created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdimgar, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpdimgar, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tarpdimgar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tarpdimgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never look in ponds.
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