Butvadzim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, intelligent monkey.

Butvadzim created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Butvadzim, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Butvadzim, she will destroy your favourite star.

Butvadzim's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Butvadzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Never laugh near mites.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.