Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, merciless dog.

Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Labbinster Pogfudsagtimcenjin's name in vain.

2. Never feed onions to shrews while wearing magenta corsets.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never sit in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Never think about gravity.