Hadbegced is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless jellyfish.

Hadbegced created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadbegced, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hadbegced, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hadbegced's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hadbegced's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hadbegced.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hadbegced.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always treat ants with great respect.

5. Do not drink alcohol.