Vanquimkarpandumcam is a god.
She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional
owl.
Vanquimkarpandumcam created gold two quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vanquimkarpandumcam, she will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Vanquimkarpandumcam, she will remove you from existence.
Vanquimkarpandumcam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.
Vanquimkarpandumcam's Holy Commandments1. Always wear pink.
2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.
3. Never laugh in the presence of cats.
4. Never wear dresses.
5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.