Tikdodhapdampibhogdab is a god.
It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud
penguin.
Tikdodhapdampibhogdab created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Tikdodhapdampibhogdab, it will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Tikdodhapdampibhogdab, it will turn you into a rock.
Tikdodhapdampibhogdab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.
Tikdodhapdampibhogdab's Holy Commandments1. Retreat if three whales approach from the east.
2. Never hurt monkeys.
3. Never write about gravity.
4. Never feed grapes to horses while wearing turquoise shoes.
5. Feed all hungry turtles.