Tikdodhapdampibhogdab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud penguin.

Tikdodhapdampibhogdab created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikdodhapdampibhogdab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tikdodhapdampibhogdab, it will turn you into a rock.

Tikdodhapdampibhogdab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tikdodhapdampibhogdab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three whales approach from the east.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never feed grapes to horses while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.