Gilxuckbegrow is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless tortoise.

Gilxuckbegrow created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilxuckbegrow, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gilxuckbegrow, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gilxuckbegrow's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gilxuckbegrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Retreat if four manatees approach from the north.

3. Never talk about dogs.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gilxuckbegrow.

5. Erect three tin sculptures of Gilxuckbegrow on top of important buildings.