Zagquillwit is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, confident rhinoceros.

Zagquillwit created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagquillwit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zagquillwit, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zagquillwit's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Zagquillwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

2. Worship no other gods but Zagquillwit.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat bark.