Kikvendim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witty shark.

Kikvendim created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikvendim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kikvendim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kikvendim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kikvendim's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always obey Kikvendim's priests.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.